It’s been a week since my appointment with the Radiation Oncologist, Dr. K. Thankfully not the same Dr. Kay from the (imo) disappointing final season of Stranger Things. My Dr. K is Dr. Teessa Perekattu Kuruvilla. Not that Kuruvilla is too hard to say. She just calls herself Dr. K so that’s what I do too. Maybe Kuruvilla sounds too similar to Cruella De Vil and she’s a dog lover or something so she just uses Dr. K. Who knows.

Confirming What We Knew
The visit itself was pretty straightforward. We just had more information now which confirmed the original plan. We need to zap my left armpit. And we need to zap my neck. Both places had cancer removed, so both places get zapped. Pretty simple. Actually I guess it’s quite a bit more complicated. Involving physics, lifetime radiation limits, avoiding permanent damage to organs. Things like that. But my part is simple. I will show up 5 days a week for 6 straight weeks. And each time I show up, they will zap me.

There is a bit of a lingering question of if I get two zaps at once or a single zap twice. The problem being that I need to raise my left arm so they can zap my armpit. But if I raise my left arm too high then I block my neck. And they need to zap my neck too. So the current plan is for me to take a little teapot pose (think handle, not spout) so there is enough room to shoot the beam around my arm without blocking my neck. This picture shows how the radiation machine revolves around the patient. And when it’s in the right spot it zaps. Hopefully I get to wear some scrub pants unlike this poor lad.

Paternity Leave Before
No I’m not going on paternity leave. That would introduce a whole new set of complications to an already complicated situation. But let’s chat about it for a second so I can tie it in. Both of my paternity leaves were basically two weeks. Your typical corporate America “Use your personal time off to go help your wife for two weeks. We’re sure she’ll be fine after that.” Although I guess that’s not completely fair. They don’t force you into that option. I could also take no time off or I could just take unpaid time off at the very time our expenses skyrocket. So really there are 3 choices. It’s just only one works for the vast majority of people

Paternity Leave Now
Now many companies offer a more robust paternity leave. Granted paternity leave is still shorter than maternity leave at some companies. But much longer than 2 weeks typically. Sometimes months. And so in a way maybe I’m getting the paternity leave I never got. Birth a tumor or two and you too can get time off. Now you treat the baby and the tumor in two totally different ways. But in both aspects you are exhausted. You don’t feel your best. You wonder what the hell you are doing. And you hope to god things turn out well despite your fumbling best efforts.

Why The Hell Did We Talk About Paternity Leave
This is what I was building up to. Radiation will start a little later than I thought. I thought I’d have surgery to remove the tumors and then jump right into radiation. But there is a time honored tradition in medicine that after you beat someone up, you have to let them heal before you beat them up again. So there is a 6 week gap between my surgery and the start of radiation itself. It’s a bit disappointing because my goal was to return to work by the beginning of May. As it stands now I’ll start radiation the beginning of April. Which means it will finish mid May. Which means I’ll be out longer than I thought. Which I guess means paternity leave is quite different. With paternity leave you are desperate not to go back to work. But with cancer treatment you just simply want to go to work again.

Savannah On My Mind
With radiation upcoming as well as another procedure on March 12th (more on that later) Lindsey and I realized that now was the time to do something together if there was going to be one. So we decided to cash in some miles/points and take a trip. Somewhere warm. Somewhere nice. Miami? Texas? Las Vegas? All were options. One of the places I looked into was Hilton Head. We have some friends that own a condo in Sea Pines and the time we went there in the fall of 2024 was amazing. It seemed like the perfect get away. I had been researching flights to Savannah nonstop. It seemed like the best option and once Lindsey confirmed we were good with plans for the kids I booked our flight!

How Do You Narrate a Blog?
On TV, Audible, or even the radio this is much easier. You hear the voices of the main characters. You know what each person sounds like. And then when this mysterious voice comes on to add context you know that’s the narrator. Sometimes a third party. Sometimes a first person narration. Either way, that’s what I need at the moment. A break in my voice. So read this next sentence as if the narrator had just started talking…”But what Rob failed to remember is that they decided not to go to Hilton Head. Their real destination was somewhere different. He was about to board a plane to the completely wrong place. Yet he had no idea.”

Savannah Not on My Mind
It was looking at rental cars that saved my ass. Like we were legit checked in for our flight to Savannah. And I was trying to figure out if it was worth it to rent a car or if we’d just Uber. So I went on the Uber website to get a fair estimate. Well and let’s just say I had a bit of sticker shock. How the hell could it cost that much to get to our hotel. And then I looked at the map. And I saw the red line traveling from Savannah, GA to Charleston, SC and realized I was an idiot. For whatever reason SAV just stuck in my head even though I knew we were going to Charleston. Charleston was my idea. I had looked at hotels. I had looked at things to do. I had looked at places to eat. And I had booked flights to Savannah. Thankfully membership has its privileges and I was able to change our flights to our actual destination. I still shudder a bit when I think about getting off of a plane in Savannah and then having to explain to Lindsey what happened. But all is well now. We leave later today and get back on Friday. Then next week is more testing and “the procedure” (more on that later).

I bite the same damn spot every time

My Tongue is Still Fat, I Think
I still talk funny. I still don’t have feeling or much sensation back in my tongue. I can taste a little better but overall my tongue is still problematic. One of the more problematic things in speech and eating is it doesn’t always move to the spot it needs to. I definitely took talking for granted before the surgery. I mean, why wouldn’t I. My lips, tongue, teeth, throat, etc all worked in harmony without even a second thought. But now I have second thoughts. And the biggest (literal) pain is when my tongue doesn’t work while chewing. I chew slowly and deliberately. I’m like an old lady eating. Slow and with small bites. But even then. Every so often. I bite my freaking tongue. And it hurts. This last time I actually drew blood. And it’s just so random. I’ll be fine for days. Do nothing different. And then CHOMP, plus a few curse words.

It also occurs to me that my tongue may not be fat anymore. No one measured my tongue before surgery. So who is to say it’s not always been this fat and I just didn’t notice? And Dr Sim already told Lindsey I had a big tongue and fat neck. So maybe a fat tongue is just my body type. Either way it’s a bit clumsy. I’ll be glad when it’s back to normal.