You know how you read about something. Study it a bit and think you know what to expect? Ya, I got an F on TORS. Unless we are grading on a curve. Then at least it was a high F, but an F none the less.
Some of you have seen updates from Lindsey on Facebook. Others might be wondering what is going on. For the latter group, the good news is you missed the worst part. Well that and me flipping off the nurse. But first let’s dive into my tongue.
You Can Tell a Lot About a Man by the Size of His Tongue
Apparently I have a big tongue. I never knew this. And while Dr. Sim said he doesn’t like to use the “F” word, he still went ahead and told Lindsey I have a fat neck. These two things in combination make TORS a bit harder. To the point that he wasn’t sure he would do again if need be. But thankfully there is no need. He was able to remove the tumor with a clear surgical margin. Now it gets sent off to Pathology to ensure the margins are clear tissue wise as well.
More on My Fat Neck
The other part of the surgery was a neck dissection. Remember when I said they hide the scar? Ya, I got that wrong too. I have that foot long jagged scare I always wanted. And they didn’t give me any of that pansy ass glue or the stitches that just dissolve. They stapled me up. Now that’s a real man’s incision right there.
But while my scar results are rather impressive, my lymph node results were not. Of course we don’t know anything for sure until pathology comes back, but Dr. Sim said some felt hard as a rock. Which means the cancer wasn’t isolated to a single lymph node. Which means more intense radiation. Yay.
Give me the Damn Pain Meds Gina
Post op apparently I didn’t look too good. Lindsey said I was moaning and twitching. I don’t have a clear memory but I remember being in pain. During pre-op I expressed my biggest concern as pain control. And so it was a bit surprising when the floor nurse started educating us on how much pain medicine I’d already had and claimed I was just groggy. We can hold our own in these conversations. Lindsey being a 23 year veteran ICU nurse and me being a stubborn ass old man who knows a thing or two about how the medical system works. Granted the middle finger was an oops.
Lindsey came with receipts. As the floor nurse confidently stated that I had already had 75 mcg of Fentanyl, Lindsey countered that I’d have 200 mcg in the ED before it even touched my pain. As the floor nurse realized she was in over her head she said she could give me some through my feeding tube. Lindsey told her it had to be IV. And for that to happen, the floor nurse said Lindsey would need to talk to the charge nurse and so Lindsey simply stated, “Well go get me charge then.”
Meanwhile I was mumbling things about pain (remember the big tongue? there is more to that story) and getting more frustrated. And I’m sorry, but I’ve been through enough to know I’m not the guy you stick to the protocol with. So it was at that point I unlocked the cage and let my little birdie out to proudly fly the emotions I couldn’t quite express. Again, it was a mistake. But in the moment it felt right. You always need to advocate for yourself or the system will just eat you up.
And so I got the IV Fentanyl. Every 2 hours. And that is what made the first day/night tolderable. I also got a speech from the charge nurse about how I need to be more respectful of staff. Which I agree with. But then again if communication existed in medicine, this wouldn’t have been an issue to begin with. Thankfully that was the only dud of an experience we had. The first day nurse was fine after this ordeal. And every other nurse and everyone else here has been fantastic.
So How Big is Your Tonge Rob? Really?
I can confidently say at this moment that it is the biggest it has ever been. It’s basically swollen to the size of the inside of my mouth. No cap. Like if I open my mouth, you’ll just see my tongue. Aparrently tongue swelling is a common problem after TORS. And while my tongue wasn’t the worst the speech therpaist had ever seen, it was in her words “decent”. And it could take a few weeks to return to normal size. So that’s definitely a prayer reqeuest. I need my tongue back to normal big.
Popping Out of the Pokey
All signs point to discharge tomorrow. I’ve been cleared to swallow water and will work my way up from there. The drain in my neck no longer requires wall suction. And we are now doing bolus feedings 5 times a day. While I can sip water, I’m no where close to eating. So I’ll leave the hospital with an NG tube for the feedings.
Epilogue
I wrote the above on Tuesday, but I wasn’t able to post it with everything going on. We are home now and adjusting to life with a feeding tube. I’m definitely ready to get this thing out. So please pray for the swelling in my tongue to go down and for me to continue to improve at swallowing.
Wow! The description of what you have been through these last several days was also, for sure, more than I ever expected! For you to have to wake up in such pain is difficult to accept as good medical care, but as we always say, “You got through lit, (thank you so much Lindsey), and Praise the Lord, it’s over.
Not only do you have a big tongue, a big neck, and apparently a big finger, I know you continue to have a big, strong determination to get though this next phase. Prayers for the tongue to shrink and the feeding tube taken out!!! Prayers for “R ‘n R” also continue!
Love you! Mom🥰
Rob
I can’t seem to find the post comment link, so I’m piggy backing on your mom’s post! See below:
I just want to know if having a big tongue equates to having a big mouth and if so, how Lindsey has put up with it all these years? Then again, her obvious ease with calling the nurses bluff for speaking to the charge answers that question pretty eaily. She doesn’t take any crap. Maybe she’s been trained by your big mouth???
On a serious note, prayers for a complete and speedy recovery continue, as well as prayers for all pathologies to come back as well as possible. I love you.
Aunt Laura
What an ordeal! Thank god for Lindsey being and expert and a boss “go get me charge”
I feel the a scar will give a lot of street cred! Feel better Rob!
Praying for you!
Hi Rob. You probably don’t remember me but I cherish your mother as a friend. I just want you to know I have given your name to InTouch ministries and your healing will be prayed for by many across the USA. I and my prayer warriors will also be praying for total healing and never to hear the “C” word again!! Keep strong and your sense of humor!! Robbie Grieger
Hey buddy. Congrats, you’ve earned yourself a more intensive anesthesia exam, and at the bare minimum, an apprehensive stare from every anesthesia provider from here forward. You earned it.
I appreciate the good laugh. 75 of fent every 2 hours is a rough one. I have also been advocated “at” but I also deserved it like your poor victim. It was a learning experience for everyone.
One day your tongue will go bad to a “decent”(ly) normal size. We will keep you guys in our prayers until then.
Love you brotha,
NC
Thanks for sharing your journey with everyone. I just hate you are having to do this again. Praying all the prayers for you.
To say you have been through more than your fair share of pain in the last few months is the understatement of the year! And way to go Lindsey! I love that she isn’t afraid to take on whatever comes her way especially when it comes to over confident nurses who think they know better than the patient’s wife who also happens to be an experienced nurse! Continuing to pray for rapid recovery, comfort level and the lymph node results and thankful you are home surrounded by people that love you.
Rob I’ve been praying for you since you first relayed this news. I’m so sorry you are going through this yet again. I can not imagine… continued prayers!